The Shire, Middle Earth, nr Oxford, UK Thrusday, 4;35 pm-ish Hi Reader, For someone who extolls the virtues of becoming a positive outlier, at first sight this might not look at all positive! But please read on... Resumé Virtues versus Eulogy Virtues I came across these terms recently. They were coined by New York times, columnist David Brooks. Resumé virtues relate to the core skills and competence in our work; whereas eulogy virtues are what we will leave as a legacy, a sort of asset we developed for others. I find the distinction very helpful as these are different categories of personal aspiration. Since resumé virtues cover such things as the core competences we develop to function in our work and other key roles that we may have, they are of keen interest to our potential employers and clients. Eulogy virtues are more about what we might leave behind that is of value to others. That is what I want to focus upon in this brief essay. Write Your Own Eulogy Eulogy virtues remind me of Stephen Covey's book, First things First:To Live, To Love, To Learn, To Leave a Legacy. He wrote about greater life aims than merely aiming to be efficient and effective. In that book he included a famous exercise of imagining watching our own funeral. He asked what would our families, friends and colleagues to say about us, when the time comes? There could well be eulogy virtues that we can set about developing now; things that will evoke positive stories from others, when we pass away. In my Unburdened coaching programme, one of the elements I get delegates to ponder is what eulogies they would like said at their funerals—from family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours. Are We the Mirror of the Victorians? My view is that our culture in the UK in 2024 is the mirror image of that of the Victorians. The Victorians were generally obsessed about death, to the point of morbidity. In comparison to us, they were also somewhat repressed about sex. We on the other hand are obsessed about sex and self-indulgence, whilst being more repressed about thinking about our own death. We can live in a kind of denial about our own mortality. So “we are amusing ourselves to death,” as Neil Postman put it in his 1985 in his book of the same name. The Transcendence of Embracing Our Own Mortality Yet one of the things that really comes through in all this is a remarkable counterintuitive effect: if we embrace our own mortality something wonderful, not morbid, can emerge. Our lives become more centred and valuable. Author John Mark Comer, for example, keeps a skull on his desk in his study, to remind him that his days in this life are limited. Do you have ways of reminding yourself of your own mortality? … or do you wish you had not read all this stuff about your certain death? Denial can be inviting. You can always live in ignorance of it and amuse yourself to death. Not many around you will think you odd or foolish. It is the easy path. Yours eternally, Patrick P.S. Please let me know what you think by hitting reply. |
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The Shire, Middle Earth, nr Oxford, UK Thursday, 8:14 am Hello Reader, I Apologise... My apologies if you received a similar-headed email yesterday. It was not spam; rather it was an internal conflict in my subscription mailing software: ConvertKit, now named simply 'Kit.' The team at Kit worked on this yesterday-- and thank you to them--and at least found the root cause. So, what follows is what I really meant to send you. (Annoyingly, parts of it are time-sensitive.) Machine Education takes...
The Shire, about 5:40pm Hello Reader, Something happened at 1:30 am on Sunday, 4th August, that was of seismic significance to our family. Several of us are still in aftershock. Our grandson was born at 28 weeks, weighing a mere 1.125 kg. ceejayoz, CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons Mum and dad were staying at the John Radcliffe, a teaching hospital in Oxford, UK, when mum was taken down to the delivery room. Within minutes a baby boy was born. As I write, our new grandson is doing very well. He...
Hello Reader, I am excited. We start our autumn Unburdened Programme this week! This is my final call. If you want to join our group, learning to live a free-er life through keeping an integrated journal, then … Register Now! I’m mindful that today is when many of us look at our week ahead, as we resume familiar patterns of commitments after holidays. And we might find it daunting. Looking at your week, does it look too much? Do you believe you have no choice but to press on and press in? You...